/ / = thoughts     ( ) = flashbacks

::*~~*::  

            Mirrors.  That was all Tsuzuki could see – mirrors, with haunting reflections of his past, his memories, his sins.  All those he had killed, betrayed, shown to him once more.  The pain of remembrance was over-bearing, killing his mind slowly, thought time passed quickly outside his head.
            It was his own fault he was in this hell.  He let himself be taken in when the demon Sagadalius spoke cruel words to him, put his past in front of him, dealt so much unbearable pain...
            (“Even the gods gave up on you, you poor lamb...”)
            All Tsuzuki could do was run.  Run away from those mirrors, those memories...  Until he came to one specific mirror.  It caught his attention because, unlike all the other reflections, it was in colour, not black and white.
            Curious, the dark-haired Shinigami stepped up to it, peering into it, wondering if it’s reflection was as hideous as the others.
            He saw a large picture window, the sun setting in the distance.  Looking out the window was Hijiri, his eyes distant.  The image of the mirror started to move, getting closer to the boy.  He realized suddenly that he was looking through his own eyes, controlled by the demon.  He stood transfixed in front of the mirror, wondering what Sagadalius had planned.
            - “Hijiri, you never thanked me,” the demon breathed in his voice, a husky tone that Tsuzuki did not approve of.  The demon put his hand on the glass, somewhat trapping Hijiri close to him.
            “Huh?” Hijiri asked dumbly, turning to face the older man. –
            / Utsukushii... / Tsuzuki thought, admiring the emerald green eyes of Hijiri.  The boy was so beautiful, but he was always reminded of someone else when he looked into those eyes...
            - “For protecting you from the demon,” ‘Tsuzuki’ spoke softly, standing behind the boy suddenly.
            “Oh, I...  thank you,” the teenager replied, his voice somewhat nervous.
            ‘Tsuzuki’ smiled slyly.  “That’s not good enough.  I want something else...”
            Hijiri swallowed audibly.  “I’ll do anything for you, Tsuzuki.  You saved me, after all...”
            “Anything?”  Hijiri nodded.  “Good.”  ‘Tsuzuki’ wrapped his arms around the child from behind, pulling Hijiri close.  “I want you body, Minase...” he whispered into his ear smoothly.
            “Tsuzuki, what are you doing!?” Hijiri yelped, pulling away from the older man.  As he did so, ‘Tsuzuki’ grabbed on the edge of his shirt, ripping some of the buttons off.
            ‘Tsuzuki’ grasped the boy’s chin, making emerald face amethyst.  “Give me your life,” the demon demanded. –
            / Life!?  What is he going to do!? /  Tsuzuki felt ill, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. / He can’t!  He just can’t!  Demons aren’t supposed to hurry up the contract themselves.  Hijiri!  ­HIJIRI! /
            Tsuzuki could only watch in horror at the things in the reflection.  The demon had pulled out a meat cleaver and was slashing away at the defenseless boy.  Blood was everywhere, the sheets, the curtains, Hijiri...  Tsuzuki yelled at the mirror, wanting more than enough to save the boy.
            - “You’re so beautiful, Hijiri,” the demon spoke, mocking Tsuzuki.  “Your pale skin looks so lovely with crimson covering it...”  He licked some of Hijiri’s blood off his fingers.  -
            “Stop it...  No...”
            - “And now the contract is complete...” -
            “NO!”  Tsuzuki slammed his fist into the mirror, shattering it into pieces.  The glass shards spilt around him, a few pieces embedding themselves into his skin.
            When he retracted his hand, the frame of the mirror contained not the backing of the mirror, but the image of Hijiri gored remained.  He stared at the image suspiciously before reaching out.  He could feel Hijiri’s soft skin against his fingers, the coldness of his cheek unnerving.
            Somehow, Tsuzuki had gotten past the demon’s seal and was able to do what he wanted, before the demon could catch on to what he was doing.
            Tsuzuki placed his other arm and head through the shattered frame, instantly being taken to the horrifying scene.
            “I’m so sorry, Hijiri...” he whispered, his hands on the boy’s cheeks.  “I couldn’t protect you...”  Hisoka’s serious voice flittered through his mind, speaking of how you should never make such promises, especially if you’re unsure if you can keep them.
            He tilted Hijiri’s pale face upwards.  “Don’t forgive me, I don’t deserve it...”  / Not like you could forgive me now, anyways... /  “I’m so sorry...”  He gently kissed the dead boy, a chill running down his spine at the feel of his cold lips.
            A part of him wanted so badly for Hijiri to kiss back, and more, but no longer...
            He could feel himself being drawn backwards through the mirror.  He was deposited roughly on the floor, a sharp pain in his bottom from the harsh impact.  The mirror disappeared and was replaced with another, black and white like the others, images of his past filling the screen.  In the background, he could hear Sagadalius’ mocking voice, making fun of him for thinking he could help Hijiri.
            Tsuzuki sat there, tears falling down his cheeks, stupefied by what just happened.
            “Hijiri...  I’m so sorry...”  

            Once the demon-possessed Tsuzuki left the room, Hisoka let a tear fall down his cheek.  A pang of jealousy hit him as he stood, wiping the tears away, and smearing some of the blood on his pale face.
            “Tsuzuki...” he whispered to himself.  “Why Hijiri?  Why not me...?”  He shook his head violently.  “No, I can’t worry about this.  I have to warn the others about Tsuzuki.”  With that, he disappeared, his heart still heavy.

::*~~*::  

            “I forgive you.”
            Tsuzuki looked up sharply, tears still fresh in his eyes.  He looked questionably up at the glowing form of Hijiri.
            “I forgive you,” Hijiri restated, moving closer to the crying man.  “And I like you.”
            “Hijiri?” Tsuzuki spoke softly.  “You...?”
            Hijiri knelt down in front of him, wrapping his arms about the man.  Tsuzuki buried his head into the boy’s shoulder, still crying.
            “I like you...”  Hijiri pulled away some and then leaned in again, tilting his head so his nose didn’t get in the way as he gently placed his lips onto Tsuzuki’s.  The kiss was chaste but last for a while, Tsuzuki returning it whole-heartedly.  His arms found their way around Hijiri’s waist and pulled him closer, melting into the teenager.
            “Show him...” Hijiri said after they broke apart.  “Show them the true power of darkness...”
            Tsuzuki nodded.  “I will...  Will you go away if I do?”
            Hijiri smiled sincerely.  “Never.”

::*~~*::  

            Tsuzuki and Hijiri stood silently next to one of the many lakes in Meifu, staring into its reflection.  It was Tsuzuki who broke the silence first.  “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”
            Hijiri shook his head.  “I no longer need you to protect me, anyways,” he said quietly, with a little disappointment in his voice.  Tsuzuki looked at him dumbly, mouth open.  “I said, I don’t need you to protect me anymore.”
            Tsuzuki closed his mouth and turned away, sighing deeply.  “I almost killed you.  Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?” he asked dryly.
            “You came back to me, didn’t you?” Hijiri retorted.  “And I told you... I...  I won’t go away.”
            Tsuzuki turned his gaze back at the boy.  “You have to go home soon.”
            “That’s not what I meant,” the child said shortly.  “Tsuzuki... I...”
            “You kissed me,” Tsuzuki interrupted.  “Why?  I don’t deserve it.”
            Hijiri suddenly put his arms around Tsuzuki’s neck, holding on tightly.  “You saved me...  You cared for me, though you didn’t have to...  Your words were always kind, never harsh like Hisoka’s.  You deserve it.”  He stared into Tsuzuki’s eyes, his emerald orbs melting with amethyst ones.  “You deserve more...”
            The teenager leaned up and gently kissed Tsuzuki, another chaste kiss.  To this, Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him close, as he slipped his tongue into Hijiri’s wet chamber.
            They explored each other’s mouths for a while, neither wanting to let go.  When they did, Hijiri was panting a little, but smiling.
            “Yes, you deserve more...”  Hijiri’s voice took on a husky tone as he leaned into Tsuzuki again, meeting the older man half-way in another kiss.
            As they kissed for a second time, Tsuzuki was running his hands up and down Hijiri’s back until he came to the hem of the boy’s shirt and went under it.  Hijiri shivered in pleasure, enjoying Tsuzuki’s sweet caresses.
            The Shinigami pushed the teenager against a tree, taking complete control of the situation.  His hands came from underneath the boy’s shirt to in front of it, unbuttoning it, all the while continuing to kiss him.  Hijiri twined his fingers in Tsuzuki’s hair, allowing the man to take him.  He did want this, after all...  Both of them did, apparently.
            Tsuzuki stopped long enough to remove his trench coat and his own shirt before finishing taking off Hijiri’s.  He stopped momentarily, looking into the boy’s eyes once more.  “This is all right with you?  You don’t mind being with a Shinigami?”
            “I’ve wanted this for a while, Tsuzuki,” Hijiri admitted, running his hands over the man’s chest softly.  “You’re beautiful, caring, everything wonderful...”  He leaned forward to kiss the Shinigami on the nose quickly before leaning against the tree again.  “Please, I want you to take me.”
            Tsuzuki nodded, a soft smile on his lips.  “All right...  I’m more than happy to oblige to someone as amazing as you, Minase Hijiri.”  He kissed the teenager again, his tongue instantly finding its way along the wet innards of the child’s mouth.  As he did this, he fondled the boy gently, running his fingers over the sensitive nipples and pinching them.
            Hijiri moaned into the kiss, bring his hands to the similar spot on Tsuzuki, before moving down his torso, finding his way to the man’s belt and pants.  He made quick work of the belt, unbuckling it quickly, but he would need help getting the pants off all together.
            Tsuzuki broke away from their kiss, and started to place soft kisses along the boy’s jaw line, down his neck, his torso, his stomach...  He stopped at Hijiri’s belt, quickly unbuckling and sliding his pants and boxers down to his ankles, removing his shoes so he could get them the whole way off. 
            The man stopped briefly to admire the boy in front of him, who was very endowed for someone his age.  Smiling, Tsuzuki kissed the tip of Hijiri’s shaft, making him groan in ecstasy. 
            “Tsuzuki!” he panted.  His legs clamped around Tsuzuki’s neck, pulling the man closer and making him take more of Hijiri into his mouth.  Tsuzuki almost gagged at first but got accustomed to it quickly enough, starting a motion of licks, sucks, and nibbles up and down the shaft.  He brought up his hand and played a little with the boy’s balls, making Hijiri almost scream.
            This, no matter how could it felt, was not what Hijiri wanted.  He wanted Tsuzuki inside of him, he wanted Tsuzuki to take him.  “Tsuzuki,” he said raggedly.
            Tsuzuki looked up at him from where he was, removing himself a little from the boy’s penis.  “Yes?”
            “Take me, please,” Hijiri softly commanded.
            “Are you sure?”
            “Yes,” he said, opening his legs a bit so Tsuzuki could stand up.  As the man did so, he pulled down his underwear and pants so they pooled at his ankles, his erection now exposed to the cool air near the lake.  Hijiri admired him a bit before leaning forward and kissing Tsuzuki again.
            While they kissed, Tsuzuki lifted Hijiri’s legs so they could wrap around his waist.  Hijiri put his arms around the tree, lifting himself up some with the help of Tsuzuki.  The man placed his hands on his hips, raising them so his opening was just above his member.
            “Are you ready?” Tsuzuki inquired softly.  “This will hurt a little, you know.”
            “I know,” Hijiri replied, closing his eyes.  “But I told you, I want this.  Please...” 
            Tsuzuki nodded and pushed down slowly on Hijiri’s hips, the tip of his penis penetrating the tight ring of muscle.  Hijiri winced, but said nothing, his head falling back against the tree, his legs getting tighter around Tsuzuki.
            “Does it hurt?”
            “A little, but...”  Hijiri swallowed.  “I can deal with this.  It’s already starting to feel good..”  He mewled, smiling a little.
            Tsuzuki smiled back as he pushed down on the boy’s hips again, going deeper into him.  He was slow, trying not to hurt Hijiri too much.  Once his entire member was sheathed into the tight heat, he moved back out until only the tip was inside Hijiri.  In response, Hijiri moaned loudly, pushing down on Tsuzuki himself.
            They started a – at first – slow pace, meeting each other half way in the thrusts.  As they picked up speed, Tsuzuki hit a spot inside Hijiri that caused an enormous amount of pleasure that showed on the teenager’s face.  When he noticed it, he angled his thrusts so they hit him there each time, wanting to give him the most pleasure possible.
            During their rocking, they would exchange kisses all over the place; mouths, cheeks, necks, chest, etc...  Eventually, Tsuzuki’s hand snaked around Hijiri’s throbbing erection, pumping it at the same speed they were going at.
            Tsuzuki’s touch only brought Hijiri closer to the edge, and as he felt his climax coming, he bit down onto Tsuzuki’s shoulder, a muffled yell into the tanned skin.
            As Hijiri came onto his hand, the muscles in his anus tightened, causing Tsuzuki to come as well.  He released his seed deep into the child, crying out in both pleasure and a little pain as he felt Hijiri’s teeth sink into his shoulder.
            As they came down from their climaxes, Tsuzuki leaned against Hijiri, panting and sweating.  They slid down the tree until they were at its base, Hijiri himself panting hard.
            “Tsuzuki...” Hijiri said through ragged breathing.  “Thank you... so much...”  He buried his head in the man’s shoulder.
            “I should be thanking you, Hijiri...” Tsuzuki replied.  “I haven’t felt this content in ages...”
            They fell silent save for their harsh breathing.  Once it slowed down, though, Tsuzuki was the first one to speak.  “You... need to get ready to go.”
            “I don’t want to leave yet,” Hijiri whispered against Tsuzuki’s neck, sending a wonderful chill down the man’s spine.  “I want to stay with you...”
            Tsuzuki kissed the child’s cheek tenderly.  “I know.  And I want you to stay, too, but you have to go.  That’s the way it is.  I’m sorry.”
            Hijiri leaned towards Tsuzuki’s face and kissed him again, whispering, “Stop apologizing so much...  I forgave you already, remember?”  He smiled as he pulled away.  “You’ll come to my concert, right?”
            Tsuzuki grinned.  “Of course.”
            “I’m glad.”  Hijiri leaned against the man’s chest, listening to his rugged breathing, while his eyes were closed.  In a minute or so, he would get up, get his clothes back on, and kiss Tsuzuki again for what would probably be the last time.  He didn’t mind though; he did what he wanted and at least he had this moment to hold onto.  He was content with that.
            Tsuzuki, on the other hand, was troubled a little.  He never would tell Hijiri why he was, though; he never wanted to hurt the child.  But... when he came... the green eyes he saw were there, but the face and hair was undoubtedly Hisoka’s, not Hijiri’s, at least in his mind.  He shoved the thought out of his mind, not wanting to deal with it.  He had an angel in his arm right now, and he’d be damned (or more so, in his case) if he would let the moment be ruined by something he knew he would never have.
            For those few moments, they just held each other, content for the time, both knowing there could never be more, anyway.  A Shinigami could not be with the living.  It was that simple and something they both knew. 
            But, at least, there was this moment, when they were neither.