i'll apologize

i shouldn't have..
i shouldn't have
run away from you.

i shouldn't have
hurt you
life i did.

but how am i
to talk to you
when i don't 
how to talk to
anyone else?

i find it so difficult
to confer with others,
let alone you;

so i find comfort
in hiding away
from everyone
fere, i do not
have to talk to anyone

here, i can think to myself
do what i want
by myself...
alone...

how lonely...

but it's worth itm,
if i don't have to
talk with anyone --
that's what matters.

but whenever i run,
wherever i hide,
you try to find me,
and make me speak.

i hate shoving you away,
but...
that's the way it is.

i cannot speak with you
with nervious sweat
pouring down my face,
while shaking violently

i'm sorry that i run,
but i'm scared --
scared that i may
say something

something dumb
that will mortify myself,
that i may 
say something to 
give you the wrong idea,
-or-...

-or- maybe...
maybe i'm afraid
of saying something
that will hurt you
that will make you
leave me...

you deserve better
company than mine;
you deserve someone
who will give you attention
and even... talk back..

qualities i never had...

i know you hate it
when i say,
'i'm sorry'
but what else
can i say?
it's what i mean
please, understand...

i've wasted too much
of your time already...
i'll leave you alone now...
don't worry about me
bothering you again...

i'm sorry.
sorry for it all...

---mindie bolce