sleep deprived

i long for something
i cannot have;
the peace of mind
that comes from dream.

the fears i used to chase,
that i would defeat
with a reaper;
the fears that i could
only overcome in
my dreams - 

they now chase me.

they weld flame sabers,
they out-number me;
i have been overcome.

i toss and turn,
i thrash and cry out,
un waking.

such a nightmare
why can't i wake up?

i fear the dream-state
of closing my eyes,
and falling asleep.

of fears showing themselves,
and winning battle after battle,
in an endless war.

i grow more tired,
as each day passes.
it's hard to pay attention,
to hold much concentration.

what happened?
where is my peaceful dream?
i can't have them anymore.

too many fears,
i must have too many fears.
of what?
of life, most likely.
of what people think of me
and what i think of them.

no wonder why i can't
sleep anymore.

until i no longer fear,
i'll get no sleep.
i'm so tired...